I like to get lost sometimes, to make the way I feel inside become a reality. No one can find me, because I’ve never been able to find myself. No one can keep in touch with me, because I’ve never been able to keep in touch with myself. I’ve always been in hiding.
Source: forrestgumper
Enough is Enough
Reading comments on websites and news stories of Child Sexual Abuse in Nigeria kill me. How many more off-handed comments will it take to realise that this is costing us too many-a-precious life? Sweeping this under the carpet will not make it disappear. We can pretend that Child Sexual Abuse is un-African or un-Nigerian or that it is not allowed in our society. We can continue to rant about it being taboo. But shame on us! Shame on us, because a taboo is meant to be forbidden and unthinkable; if it can’t be thought, it should NOT occur. I and many others I know are living proof of the widespread prevalence of this evil. This evil that is killing our children and robbing adult survivors of their lives. Sexual abuse is a life-altering experience. Only its survivors can testify of the pain and trauma, but the consequences are damaging to everyone. Our healing journey is arduous enough without the stigma and shame.
CSA is a collective problem that can only be stopped with our collective power. It is not only the perpetrators’ fault. Our fear, comfort in silence and denial give abusers enablement. This silence we are all complicit in and the rate at which it is overlooked suggest that it has come to be accepted! You may disagree, but if these statements sound like blame to you or if they stir in you a desire for action, act. Learn the facts about CSA, put abusers on alert with your words and actions, act on your suspicions, teach your children about sex, their bodies and abuse, teach them about boundaries, support organisations that serve survivors and work to end this scourge. And I beg you, do not shoot down, shutdown, invalidate, silence or turn away those who come to you with their stories. Support and advocacy, just a listening ear can go a long way to help someone’s healing. Being aware of the prevalence and consequences of CSA will make you feel less uncomfortable talking about it. The facts our out there, our stories are being told. Knowing the facts is power, power to act without fear or shame.
We are survivors, we are professionals who work with survivors and abusers, we are parents, relatives, friends, colleagues of survivors and abusers. We will one day become parents and grandparents. Our connection to CSA and each other is undeniable. Abuse is a choice and our choices determine what happens to those around us. If you believe every child has the right to live free, make the choice to protect them. It really is YOUR choice.
Some useful links:
http://againstchildsex.org
http://www.mediaconcern.net/index.php
http://www.projectalertnig.org/index.html
I am a Nigerian abused by 5 different Nigerians in Nigeria. How un-African is that to you?
Lesson of the Day: Trust yourself and step out in faith! Good night.
Source: anastaciomartinez.wordpress.com
Because stigma’s ugly face is on my mind
CSA is not a western issue, it’s a human issue
Catholic priests aren’t paedophiles, people who sexually abuse children are
Depression is not a ‘European disease’, my African parents
Mental illnesses don’t come from the devil, did the devil give you the flu?
Your ‘wicked’ uncle in the village did not flunk your interview, you flunked
Your ‘wicked” aunty in the village did not end your engagement, it didn’t work out
Igbos aren’t money-mad, lovers of money are
My eloquence and carriage surprise you because I’m Nigerian?
Nigerians aren’t scam artists, scheming criminals conned you
Men don’t cheat, people who cheat do
Women don’t lie, people who lie do
The girl in the short skirt is not a slut, she just likes to wear short skirts
Loc rockers aren’t dirty, people who don’t like to shower are
But they like it and choose not to
Africa is not a charity case
Neither is she a war-torn country
Muslims aren’t terrorists, terrorists are
Africans don’t live in the wild, wild animals (and Bear Grylls) do
They’re not frigid because they won’t have sex with you, leave them be
They are not evil for not believing what you believe, to each their own truth
She likes to dress up, she’s not stupid
I like to dress down, I’m not boring
I don’t date, I’m not lesbian
He’s a virgin at 25 because he wants to be, nothing is wrong with him
I’m no less of a Nigerian because I’m vegetarian
They live together doesn’t mean they’re sleeping together
She’s not a whore because she slept with you
You are not entitled to sex because you are married
Your little soldiers, sir, determine the gender of your child
Not all boys are boys, not all girls are girls
There are many X and Y permutations and combinations
Some boys like girls, some boys like boys, some boys like both
Some girls like boys, some girls like girls, some girls like both
The cap might fit but it just might not be my style or their style
No two brushstrokes are the same, get a brush and try
You like what YOU like
You are who YOU are
You do things the way YOU know how
You believe what YOUR mind has learned not to fear
That applies to everyone else
You’re about a minute closer to your death than when you started reading this
Live your life and let others
Man to pay N40, 000 for raping minor
“Any person who has unlawful carnal knowledge of a girl under the age of thirteen years is guilty of a felony, and is liable to imprisonment for life, with or without caning. Any person who attempts to have unlawful carnal knowledge of a girl under the age of thirteen years – is guilty of a felony, and is liable to imprisonment for fourteen years, with or without caning.” - Section 218, Chapter 21 of the Criminal Code of Nigeria
Her innocence, childhood, purity worth just £155/$258 to the judge. One year for destroying her life?! One step forward, one thousand steps backwards.
Our tiny bit of cyberspace is a stigma-free zone and is reserved for honesty, openness, freedom, support, comfort and love.
